As a child, I always knew I was in serious trouble whenever I heard my full name booming forth from the kitchen of our house, gaining speed as it echoed down the hallway and bellowing out to our backyard where I stood paralyzed in fear as it washed over me. SSSOOOOOZZENN LOOOOOEEEEEEZZZE RRRIILEEEEE!!!!!!!!! That sound of my mother invoking my middle name set off my internal Shit-O-Meter and left me shaking in my seven-year-old Keds. In some ways it still does… just writing it here made me poop my undies a tiny bit…
A Proper Scolding
June 28th, 2012 — Randomness
I Swear I’m not Kidding
June 24th, 2012 — Randomness
Last year, when I decided to try 52 things I’d never done before, I made certain that the list included learning to swear in several languages. Because that’s the kind of person I am. And because if you’re not gonna add that to a list of new things to try, was ist der verdammte punkt?
A Life Set Apart
May 27th, 2012 — Randomness
I adore commencement ceremonies. Really, I’m not joking. Too few occasions in life present the opportunity to surround yourself with such enthusiasm and promise. It thrills me to watch these events and see so many faces, all blank slates upon which the world will make its mark over the coming years while they busy themselves with the grand task of making their own mark upon it. At that ceremony, in that moment, anything – everything – is deliciously possible. I gratefully attend these ceremonies whenever I can, for the chance to celebrate their accomplishment, marinate in their joy and envy them their hope.
Poor Sam…
May 20th, 2012 — Randomness
My husband loves fantasy flicks. Like most guys, he’s a sucker for any film that weaves a tale of things otherworldly or beyond the human realm. If there’s a movie out there that depicts superheroes, spaceships, aliens, magic wands, something/someone who flies, enchanted beasts, lasers, armies of warriors battling for good or evil, vampire hunters, the supernatural, living skeletons, massive cockroaches or white wizards, he’s more than likely seen it at least once. Or a thousand times. Especially the movies with white wizards.
This Line, No Waiting
May 2nd, 2012 — Randomness
If you’re one of my four or five regular readers, you already know that I’m currently dealing with a wee bit of crap in my life. As a result, I am doing whatever I can to emotionally stay afloat and maintain a positive spin on things: writing, working, enjoying Spring in New Hampshire, challenging the number of pomegranate martinis I can safely consume while still being able crawl up the stairs to bed… basically, anything that will keep me feeling happy and grateful for what I have in my life. Other than the wee bit of crap, of course.
A Story I Can’t Tell. And One I Can.
April 24th, 2012 — Randomness
I have a great story to tell. It’s full of the stuff that makes for a great story: good guys and bad guys, love and hate, good and evil. And a happy ending. I want to tell this story… I ache to tell it. Unfortunately, I cannot tell you this story because I am not allowed to.
But here’s the coolest part of that story: it’s not the real story. And the real story is one I can tell.
Perfectly Imperfect, Thanks Anyway
March 1st, 2012 — Randomness
Permit me a brief rant.
If your Facebook wall looks anything like mine, it’s well stocked with motivational mini-posters placed there by dozens of friends wanting to share these inspirational quotes. I truly love these folks for passing along this well-intended karma because, most of the time, ingesting this positivity at the end of a totally-sucks-donkey-balls day soothes me more than a chilled vodka martini. And that’s a lot.
A Full Beach Pail for My Birthday
February 20th, 2012 — Beach Pail, Randomness
Fifty-two weeks ago, I began a challenge: try something new every week for an entire year. The goal was to marinate myself in new experiences and remind myself that I’m not too old to try new things. I wanted to add interest, invite possibilities and take baby steps outside my element to stretch myself on small levels. It started out as a challenge for my upcoming fiftieth birthday (today!), but it turned into something so much more.
Selling the Canoe
February 15th, 2012 — Randomness
Dear Mr. President;
Last month, I was in my friend’s car when I looked out the window and saw one of those whacky billboards that display the real-time national deficit. Watching that foolish thing tick away at a rate of $34,000 per second is like watching an oncoming tornado: you’re fucked if you don’t run and find shelter, but you just can’t stop staring at the damned thing.
What’s Hair Got to Do With It?
February 14th, 2012 — Randomness
Today, I am helping spread the word about pediatric cancer, on behalf of my friend Sheila Quirke and in honor of her daughter, Donna Quirke Hornick. This post is one of dozens placed throughout the web today to raise awareness as well as funds to fight this cruel beast.
